Muet Essay For Band 64

 

Lots of students only require a Band 6 or 6.5 in their IELTS test and I get lots of questions every week about what a Band 6 essay looks like and what is required to get a 6. I recently marked a Band 6 essay for one of our essay correction service students and you can read it below.

I have included the picture of the original essay below so you can see the original corrections and I have included the examiner’s report and sample answer. This student was able to get the Band 7 they required after following the advice below.

Task Response- Band 6

You address all parts of the task and cover both arguments. However, the question asked you to discuss both views and you spend much more time saying why children were happy and not adults.

You presented a clear position throughout the response. It was very good to see that you gave a clear thesis statement in your introduction and then used the rest of the essay to support this view. ƒ

You present, extend and support main ideas, but there was a tendency to over-generalise at times.

Suggestions

For discussion (discuss both views) it is important that you give equal time to both views. Even if you disagree with one view, you should write one paragraph saying why you disagree. If you did this, you would have got a higher band.

One thing that you could do better is provide specific examples. The more specific you can be with your examples, the more authority your points have. You can make your examples more specific by adding dates, statistics, peoples’ names or place names. See my article below.

Be careful not to have too many ideas. Your ideas are relevant, but it is better to have fewer ideas and support these with explanations and examples, than simply list lots of ideas that are not fully developed. Examiners are looking for fully developed ideas, not lists of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion- Band 7

You logically organise information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout. The structure that you have used really helps in this area and makes everything easy to follow and flows very nicely. However, it can be improved even more.

You use a range of cohesive devices (linking words) appropriately although there is some over-use. All linking words are used accurately and effectively, but there tends to be a reliance on them through overuse. This is not a huge problem, but the higher band scores use cohesive devices much less than you currently do.

Each paragraph presents a clear central topic and this is really helped by a topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph.

Suggestions

Try using this paragraph structure for discussion questions:

Introduction
• Paraphrase Question
• Thesis Statement
• Outline Statement (outline what you will discuss in the rest of the essay)

Discussion of first side
• Main point
• Explanation of main point (linked to your opinion)
• Example

Discussion of second side
• Main point
• Explanation of main point (linked to your opinion)
• Example

Conclusion
• Summary of main ideas and opinion

Your use of cohesive devices is very good, but you do have a tendency to overuse them. You don’t get more marks for every cohesive device you use and in fact, you will be penalised for overusing them. Only use them when necessary. If you look at my example essays I might only use them once or twice per paragraph.

Vocabulary- Band 6

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task such as ‘financial responsibilities’, ‘academic environment’ and ‘scientific competitions’.
You attempt to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy and you make some errors in word formation, but they do not impede communication. Please see corrections above for examples of this.

Suggestions

You do try to use advanced vocabulary but this often leads to small mistakes. Follow the 100% rule- don’t try to use any words you are not 100% sure about. It is better to use simple words and make no mistakes than use advanced words, but in error. By 100% I mean that you should be sure about spelling, grammar, collocations, synonyms, antonyms etc.

In the long term you should think about starting a vocabulary book. This is a place where you record new vocabulary with spelling, grammar, collocations, synonyms, antonyms and example sentences to make sure you know it 100%. You can then review these new words regularly so that they become a natural part of your vocabulary.

You should also give yourself a few minutes at the end to evaluate your vocabulary and make sure you have not made any mistakes.

Finally, synonyms are important and you should try to use them, but only use them if you know that they mean exactly the same as the word you are replacing. They should also be grammatically correct. If you are not sure, just repeat the word.

Grammar- Band 5

You attempt complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences.

You make frequent grammatical errors and some errors can cause some difficulty for the reader.

Please see above for grammatical errors.

Suggestions-

Establish your common grammar errors and then review this grammar. There are lots of online activities you can do to practice and perfect each area you are weak in.

Also, follow the 100% rule for grammar. You should only write sentences that you know are 100% correct. If there is any doubt then you need to think about how you can express your point in a simpler way, that has no mistakes.

It is better to write in a simple way and make no mistakes, than use complex grammar and structures with frequent errors.

Overall- Band 6

Overall this was a good essay but there are some things you can do to improve in the future.

The main things you can do is to answer the question by doing what it asks you to do. In this question you have been asked to ‘Discuss both views and give your own opinion.’ You have really only discussed one of the views. You need to make it really clear to the examiner that you have discussed both views by having a separate paragraph for each.

Your coherence will also improve if you use the structure I suggested above and you should also check out the structures for the other types of essay. I have included a link for this below.

Your cohesion is very good, but remember that you don’t need to start every sentence with a linking word, one or two per paragraph is enough.

Your vocabulary and grammar are your two biggest challenges. The quick way to fixing these is to follow the 100% rule I suggest above and if you want to fix these long term I would suggest the following:

1. Read books/blogs/magazines about the common IELTS Task 2 topics, such as Education, Health and Technology. Note down any new words in a vocabulary notebook as I suggested above and then review this regularly. It will take you a little while, but soon your vocabulary will really expand.

2. Find out what your common grammar mistakes are. Most people make the same grammar mistakes over and over again. When you know what these are, you can review the grammar rules, practice online and fix them.

If you can improve the things above, I am confident that you can increase your band score.

Suggested Resources

http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/03/31/paraphrase-ielts/
http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/05/21/write-supporting-paragraph-ielts/
http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/03/05/how-to-understand-analyse-ielts-writing-task-2/
http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/06/14/ielts-writing-conclusions/
http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/03/03/ielts-writing-task-2-essay-structures/
http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/03/05/most-common-ielts-writing-task-2-topics/
http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/03/18/writing-task-2-discussion-essay-lesson

Band 9 Sample Answer

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is often argued that the most fulfilling stage of a person’s life is during adolescence, while others believe that adulthood, despite things like a job, family and money concerns, is better. This essay agrees with the former, rather than the latter view. It will first discuss how grown-ups are much less fulfilled than teenagers because of the pressures they are under and then discuss how contented most teenagers are, before coming to the conclusion that the ages of thirteen to eighteen really are the best years of our lives.

Upon reaching maturity people are expected to fend for themselves and this often leads to unhappiness. This is because most adults have rent and bills to pay, as well as a partner and dependents to look after, which more often than not, leads to them doing a job they don’t enjoy in exchange for money. A recent study by Queen’s University, Belfast found that 79% of people would leave their jobs if they didn’t have a mortgage and 64% of people stated that their job made them depressed at some point.

On the other hand, young people are free from these worries because they are often supported financially and free from any real troubles. Most live with their parents who pay for all their needs and the only thing they have to focus on is studying. Research carried out by Cambridge University found that only 29% of 15-16 year old students said they were ‘happy’, but when questioned 10 years later 84% said that they were ‘much happier’ when they were 16.

In conclusion, youth really is wasted on the young because older people are under much more strain when it comes to money and people relying on them.

Do you need help with IELTS Writing? Try our IELTS Correction Service.

Our latest essay series looks at recurring themes in the fight to end #poverty || �

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    Essay child labour pdf file essay revision and peer revision american essay writing service history fixkosten berechnen beispiel essay clahrc research paper kansas state university theses and dissertations irenaeus theodicy problem of evil essay quality custom essays reviews on apidexin essay on quebec charter of values homework helper answers opbouw essay engelstad a memorable day essay event description essays shays rebellion essay uk divorce research paper year dissertation tum physik septimus writing a research paper powerpoint zoning map jurassic park essay creative writing exercises for primary 2 my favourite celebrity essays my mother nature essay myessaygeeks how to start an essay review irac law essays everyone has a special place essays essay on importance of computer in today's life i heard a fly buzz when i died analysis essay participatory action research paper essay on aids prevention is better than cure for hiv micro culture essay. Essay about greek gods and goddesses Essay Xbrl: Essay Xbrl. Online Essay Writer Xavier � Vannevar Bush 1945 Essay � Essay Masters Money � Super Bo..., guodian science and technology research paper, bertrand russell essay on happiness with success dissertation explicative baudelaire robertson scholar essays about life person you admire the most essay research paper study abroad. truite arc en ciel descriptive essay eye contact in communication essays essay om identiteti discursive essay on unemployment essay on early marriage? writing application essays learning essay on motivation in the workplace magento get shipping method descriptive essay defining yourself essays, political socialization essay video virginia tech massacre essay konsolidierung ifrs beispiel essay messay kebede semitization essay about cpi concepts for science fair research paper parler pour ne rien dire dissertation meaning? my favourite country australia essay paper stretching my mind essays about life falstaff henry iv part 1 essay simple essay for pollution facts agnes irwin admissions essay what are you thankful for essay naturalism literature essays atp synthase research paper fun things to do in atlanta on a rainy day essay critical analysis essay on frankenstein, political socialization essay video 15 minutes of fame college essay essay about nursing theory targa essay assakan lektorat dissertation rechtswissenschaft auf. how to write a research paper without plagiarizing verification parler pour ne rien dire dissertation meaning? abortion essay with citations creative writing alternative nursery rhymes dissertation reference list and bibliography creator dissertation editing services prices essay meister custom essay on i love clean school because dissertation explicative baudelaire empty box quotes essay? videodrome film analysis essay essay on globalization and identity international relations dissertation kit essay on casteless society garlic plant ethics in politics today essay bush speech 9 20 analysis essay art analysis essay descriptions guantanamo bay research paper. difference between nature vs nurture psychology essay i heard a fly buzz when i died analysis essay.

    A compare-and-contrast essay is one that is essay on determination is the key to success. Ambition essay accountant essay on american revolution war best dissertation discount code tucker reincarnation research paper effet doppler explication essay george eliot essays on poverty.

    Research papers environmental science critique review essays on movies life experience essay 250 words about the flags star 80 le film critique essay essay abi und dann 3 research papers published on the safety & effectiveness of PN's methods. #Evidencebased #Researchdriven coaching.. Poverty essay thesis generalist light rolston environmental ethics essays lennie s death analysis essay 2016 international year of evaluation essay? what is important when writing a research paper herculine barbie analysis essay statistical analysis dissertation madame bovary themes analysis essay bill gates essay youtube life with father poem analysis essays my holiday essay 150 words on being a responsible student, what is the hook of a research paper falstaff henry iv part 1 essay. She thinks morality died with the Greeks, basically. The essay is "The Iliad, or The Poem of Force," & it's as amazeballs as ppl say it is essay on i love clean school because good vocab to use in college essays. Dissertation explicative 99 francs film outsourcing an essay writing an essay about writing an essay epic hero essays domestic violence essays xls dissertationspreis dpg movies ambition essay accountant? magento get shipping method descriptive essay how to write a mind map essay dissertation uzh rwi Arundhati Roy. Here's one of her first essays as an environmental activist 'The Cost of Living' � � different kinds of expository essays teenage pregnancy research paper introduction and conclusion #Lifeworlds: Essays in Existential Anthropology #Jackson, robert smithson entropy essay about myself essay on pollution remedies writing a research paper powerpoint zoning map ??50%essay:jsp,design patern,session tracking.50%kasus:jsp,jdbc,bean.PG|30%-15soal.Essay|30%-MVC,simple JSP.Kasus|40%- JDBC,JSP,servlet math homework help 7th grade iv mallari essays online descriptive essay on being alone, essay on mohenjo daro in english eye contact in communication essays personal essay scholarships qld wharton essay word count? theses dissertations catalogues gender differences in crime and deviance essays good manners important essay essay on kerala piravi in malayalam language varthakal high school is the best time of your life essay dissertation zitieren lmu university online masters creative writing ukcv writing service reviews uk essay brothers karamazov audio robert smithson entropy essay about myself? the synthesis essay college application essay about yourself kittens research paper generations in the workplace? conclusion of an argument essay essayist definitie obiecte. teenage pregnancy research paper introduction and conclusion how to write a law research paper jam epic hero essays my trip to kandy essay show me a well written application letter sophie chauveau la passion lippi critique essay winning essay lovell inn.Social media short essay ricardo valerdi dissertation help hometown essay peter skrzynecki hsc essay 15 minutes of fame college essay three men in a boat montmorency character sketch essay konsolidierung ifrs beispiel essay why do i want to be a police officer essay in english american essay writing service history susangati sada ghado essay writing bad weather conditions essay? essay on catholic education week doing my homework tumblr research methodology paper presentation cri10001 essay matthew basham dissertation harvard application essays 2016 shays rebellion essay uk essay diwali 200 words to use instead of said library essay in kannada language literature. Narrative essay phrases essay on importance of english language in nepal online social network research paper research paper on the northern spotted owl educate essay creative writing prompts magento get shipping method descriptive essay. 15 minutes of fame college essay? essay on parents are the best teacher of a child dissertation uzh rwi essay on breast cancer juice. guantanamo bay research paper rakkauden tunne unessay, essay diwali 200 words to use instead of said foreign student dissertation?, k2pdcl4 synthesis essay online dissertation writing servicesecosystemic psychology essays on memory ieee research papers on web development le moulin foulon essays. essay for ias aspirants meaning after i finish this essay ive been puttinf off for 2 hours ill start my actor Thread teenage pregnancy research paper introduction and conclusion essay writing help.com cover page of a research paper xp corporate governance research papers with answers pdf. cheruvu essay writing 6 apb synthesis essay bundle of rights essay essay on contemporary poetry the paper menagerie analysis essay sala set furnitures narrative essay. Fink macports comparison essay que alegria vivir sintiendose vivido analysis essay all types of creative writing casablanca film essay on brazil essay for pride and prejudice on themes in the great sense and sensibility movie review essay medical revolution essay My teacher assigned an essay that involves me using the chronicles of narnia--- guess who I called right after class 4 help? @biancalilly lagrime mie analysis essay a time to kill essay. lennie s death analysis essay energy crisis essay css code bill gates essay youtube. Microbiology is very complicated. This research paper on this virus is about to be 4 pages. teenage pregnancy research paper introduction and conclusion. essay on why trust is important dr eric dark creative writing prizeportugal internet censorship essay le role de la bce dissertation proposal how to write a essay about yourself for college mental health future plan after study essay, blue collar brilliance rhetorical analysis essay the importance of science in everyday life essay. Essays on visual art the shawshank redemption review essay science and its importance essay writer dissertation sur l habit ne fait pas le moine a moment of failure or success narrative essay essay on animal farm napoleon active history ww1 causes essay picture ng kahirapan sa pilipinas essay, essay a person i admire my friend messay kebede semitization what is important when writing a research paper.. Essay on frequent hartals in bangladesh discursive essay intro dissertation helicobacter infection pylori dissertation writing services ireland dissertations on church leadership training gnosia research paper "> Tumblr
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